My Girlfriend Wants Space 101: The Essential Guide

After being in quite a few relationships, having my heart broken several times and by studying the psychology behind dating, women and relationships in general, I now finally know what it means, when a girlfriend wants more space.

The solution comes down to communication, as it often does in relationships. It’s possible that you have been bad at listening to her wants and needs or maybe she hasn’t been clear about what she wanted from you.

girlfriend wants more space - leaving a man behind

The best solution for this problem is to give your girlfriend the space she asks for and then use that time to re-evaluate, analyze and dissect your relationship and begin to prioritize yourself – Don’t forget that the most important component in a situation like this, is to be completely honest with yourself and her for that sake.

Prioritize yourself more and start doing the things you love to do, so that you’ll naturally become busy and engaged with something you like, that makes her want you more – You should never, only have your girlfriend as the only activity in your life, that is unhealthy and girls hate that.

But remember to re-evaluate your relationship in the time that she gets some space from you, is she even the right one for you? Make sure to value yourself and prioritize your self-worth, don’t piss on yourself.

It is important to do your own thing but also super important to miss each other and to keep a distance and not always be in contact. The best way to do that is to follow your gut feeling and start doing the things you love to do, instead of being with her all the time, that will give her the perfect space and balance she needs and that will stabilize your relationship rather quickly.

Accept and respect that your girlfriend wants some space

It’s important that you’re accepting and respecting her need for wanting to have some space. She needs some time and the worst thing you can do, is to keep contacting her when she needs a break – that’s a no brainer.

man holding out hand to accept the girlfriends demand of wanting more space

It could also be that she is going through something very personal she maybe doesn’t want to share with you, maybe because you haven’t been together for a long time. If you’ve been together for quite some time, it should be a red flag, if she doesn’t want to include you in her problems.

Girls most often need emotional assistance from their boyfriend, and girls are just hardwired to be much more emotionally-thinking as compared to boys.

Figure out what she means by “Space”

It’s really important when your girlfriend tells you that she needs space, that you are crystal clear about what she means by “getting space”.

People interpret this term of wanting more space in a lot of different ways, it means something unique to each of us.

1.    For some people, it means just a few days of no contact.

2.    For others, it might mean a need to pause the relationship for some time.

3.    For another group of people “space” may even mean that they want to have some time where they can be together with others and be 100% free.

I don’t suggest that you accept the last one.

Be absolutely clear about what she means by wanting more space, if you don’t feel she is clear enough, it’s up to you to accept it or not accept it – Because you deserve an explanation as well. I would go with my gut feeling in this situation if she is unclear.

man holding girlfriend in her leg

Be prepared, if she isn’t clear and you’re accepting that, you might go around for a few days or weeks feeling really bad about her not getting back to you, judging yourself and punishing yourself mentally, which will weaken you as a person, and that’s not good for your self-worth. You really have to figure out why your girlfriend wants more space.

If she is pretty clear about why she wants to get some space, give her a break though, it seems like she really needs it. You’re probably too much over her, and trust me, girls don’t like that if that’s the only thing you do.

Typical reasons for why a girl wants more space

This is for sure different from girl to girl and situation to situation, but I’ve collected a list for you, outlining the most typical reasons for why your girlfriend wants more space in your relationship.

Remember to take this list with a grain of salt, as it is not to be taken as truth, but as guidance. The reasons why your girlfriend wants more space can be something completely different than this, so again, use this as an insightful overview of the typical reasons.

grass growing in soil

•    She is at a point in her life, where she needs to go through some challenges alone, in order for her to grow as a person – This can only be done by herself, not as unity between you and her.

•    She wants to break up with you, but don’t like to say it directly, so she uses the tactic of “wanting more space” in hope that it’ll fade out the relationship – If you think that is the reason for her need for more space, ask her if she wants to break up.

•    She is not getting enough alone time in the relationship (see the section under this list “Start to prioritize yourself more”).

•     She is dealing with mental health issues like anxiety, depression, stress or something similar and may find it embarrassing to involve you in this.

Start to prioritize yourself more

I suggest that for you to start giving her the space she needs, you start to concentrate on your own life purpose and the hobbies and the things you like to do.

Your girlfriend can’t be the only thing that matters to you in life, you have to take up your old hobbies or catch up with some old friends, get something NEW into your life!

nurture your self love

Too many people rely solely on their partner because they’re so deep in love with their girlfriend. But that’s the wrong way to go about a relationship. You should have a stable life, and stable identity, that isn’t requiring a girlfriend to make you fulfilled. A girlfriend is not a necessity, it’s an awesome BONUS to your life, but nothing more than that.

Your life should be at 100% when you’re single, and getting a significant other, can boost that 100% up to 110%, but it’s not more than that.

You’re going to be together with yourself your entire life, you need to be your own best friend in life, that’s why you need to start to prioritize yourself a little man. Imagine if you’re spending some years together with your girlfriend now, and you prioritize her over anything else, maybe in a few years, if you aren’t together anymore, who are you then?

You gave her all the energy and love you had, completely forgetting yourself in the process. You were only feeding off on the love you got from her – That’s just not stable, because the day she’s gone, you’re back to your old life, maybe she saved you from a dark depressive hole, and you’ll end up in that hole again or somewhere similar, if you don’t start nurturing your self-love a little more!

if youre searching for that one person that will change your life, take a look in the mirror.

So, when your girlfriend needs a break, it’s most likely also true for you, that you need to evaluate something about you! There is clearly something out of balance in the relationship, and your girlfriend wants some space, should be an indicator for you to start changing and transforming yourself.

By starting to do the things you love to do, you’ll become much more fun and cooler person to be around – You’ll gain new experiences, meet new people, learn new stuff, develop yourself and nurture your self-love and self-esteem.

Engage yourself deeply in the things you love to do the most, spend time on that and balance that with your relationship and that’s really key to success!

She wants to crave you, she wants to miss you, and you’re clearly not giving her that!

So, start doing that!

Ideas for how to prioritize yourself and your interests more

•    Hang out with friends and family more often

•    Pick up that old dusty guitar you’ve always wanted to learn to play

•    Engage in topics you love to learn about and dig deeper

•    Start painting / creating art

•    Create your own music

•    Start your own business

•    Read more books

•    Develop your own app

•    Go to the gym and exercise more

Reconnect back to her

If she isn’t the one taking initiative to get back to you after a few days, I think you should seriously reconsider your relationship with your girlfriend – It is not fair to keep you in the unknown and not knowing what the hell is going on.

If you’re just waiting and waiting for her to answer, but she never really texts you or call you, something is really wrong and you shouldn’t forget to value yourself much higher than that. You don’t deserve to be in a relationship with a girl, who keeps you in the unknown for days or weeks without end.

Want to know the 5 subtle but crazy signs women do when they’re attracted to you sexually? Click here to read more…

If at the beginning you agreed on a specific amount of “space”-time, then text her when those days are up, ask her if everything is fine, and let her know that you were just checking in to see if everything was fine, and if she’s up for talking, she can always get back to you.

But seriously, remember that you got self-worth! You’re literally pissing on your own self-worth, if you just allow her to keep you in the unknown for days and weeks, without you knowing when she’ll get back to you.

Be decisive and take action

If you end up in that unfortunate situation of her not getting back to you after the specific time you agreed upon the “space” would last, and you’re getting more and more frustrated, be decisive, breathe deep into your balls and act.

Then you have to text/call her, because it’s an ugly situation if you’re getting super emotionally hurt over her not getting back to you – If she doesn’t like that you get back to her, even though she went over the “space-time” you agreed upon, too bad, you might have to break up with her.

take action and empower yourself - goldfish jumps from small bowl to bigger bowl - the big leap

You have to of course be understanding of the reality that your girlfriend wants space, but also, don’t turn your life to shit just because of that.

Now that you’re valuable, and it’s not worth it to kill your own self-worth, for the sake of a girl who maybe don’t even want to be together with you anymore or maybe doesn’t value you enough as the unique person you are.

Conclusion

If you have been understanding of her demand of getting some space for some time and truly accepting and respecting her need, know that you’ve done everything you could possibly do to meet her needs.

If she isn’t communicating back to you after the time you agreed upon, prepare yourself to move on in life.

It’s all about not destroying your own sense of self-worth and self-esteem, because of a girl who may be deep inside, doesn’t feel like she is the right match for you or maybe she isn’t in the right place or situation in life, where she can handle to have a boyfriend at this time, which is also okay.

But don’t let this situation destroy your personal growth or positivity.

•    You have to be decisive in a situation like this.

•    Listen to what she needs, give her the time and space she needs.

•    See if she gets back to you, if she doesn’t – Then you get back to her.

•    If she replies = Good sign, there is a chance for you to figure it out with her, because she showed a mild sign of interest.

•    If she doesn’t reply = Bad sign, prepare yourself to move on.

Don’t forget, that you got all the answers and all the power you need, in order for you to handle a situation like this inside of you. Please just listen to that low inner voice of yours, your intuition, so often it is right in situations like this, where your logical mind is just straight up bullsh*t in a scenario like this.

I personally believe that there is a partner for every person on the planet.

Even the ugliest, annoying and most arrogant person can get a girl/-boyfriend.

Because deep inside of us, there is only light shining through.

We are not born evil, we are born to be good and nature designed us to reproduce, so why would it make sense to create humans that had hard times to match and get a partner?

You have to turn on your empathy and be in the shoes of your partner – Try to fulfil her without pissing on your own self-worth.

What you focus on grows.

I wish you good luck on your personal journey and don’t forget to stick around on the blog, I am constantly publishing awesome content for you guys, so you can master yourselves and grow to the extraordinary!

Hugs

–    Anders // ThisAlpha.com

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